paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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