If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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