Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
