Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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