Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
