do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
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