Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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