I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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