some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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