Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
