Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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