so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
