Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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