I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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