The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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