me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
