i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
