I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
