hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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