Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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