Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
