Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How naked do you want me to be?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
