around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
