shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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