I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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