Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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