I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
