I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
