i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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