You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
