Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
