my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I touched a dick in church today
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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