so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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