Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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