that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
