I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
