soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
