I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
