maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't deserve a penis
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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