He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
