ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
