Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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