What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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