hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
