before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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