You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
