Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
