Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The best revenge is premature balding
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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