Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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