it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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