How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
