It's just like the Real World with babies
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
