sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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