i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize