Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
