you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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