I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
