Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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