He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
