This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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