I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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