OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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