I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
