Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
