Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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