What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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