Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
