You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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