i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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