I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
