operation harelip BJ is a go
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
